A Father's Journey Through Our Mental Health Course
Joel used to say things in anger and regret them later. But, he recently participated in The Leo Project’s Mental Health for Fathers Course, a companion program to the Mental Health for Mothers course that his wife, Esther, completed during her pregnancy. “Nowadays, I pause before I respond,” Joel told us.
Esther notices changes as well. "Before the training, I would get angry quickly and didn't want to listen to my husband," she says. "But since we both went through the training, our communication has really improved. I feel heard now."
Joel and Esther with their baby
These courses are key components of our Perinatal Mental Health and Newborn Thriving program, which is made possible with the support of the Stavros Niarchos Foundation (SNF). The first two cohorts are already showing real impact. For Joel, the course gave him tools for handling conflict at home and it changed how he sees his role during his wife’s pregnancy and as a father. “In our culture, during pregnancy and when caring for an infant, men usually step aside and let the woman and other women in the community take over," he reflected, adding "I learned that it is important for both the mother and father to work as a team.”
Joel now helps out in new ways, “He now brings things like diapers home, which many men in our community are not comfortable buying or carrying,“ Esther shared.
This SNF-supported Perinatal Mental Health Program is grounded in the understanding that a woman’s health during pregnancy is significantly influenced by the people around her. Men have long been left out of conversations and programs about women’s health, and including them creates opportunities for real change.
When men learn about health, and mental health in particular, the benefits reach beyond themselves. “I learned that when you see someone withdrawing or acting differently, it’s not just a character issue, it could actually be a sign of mental illness,” he said. And, he now shares what he has learned with others: “When I see another man struggling with their anger, which is common in our community, I talk to them about being more aware of the impact of their anger and how they can calm themselves and respond in a better way.” The ripple effects into the community can be transformative.
Joel believes that more men should be part of this program, especially older generations who are holding on to out-dated practices and beliefs. "I feel like the older generation has influenced us with some ideas that don't support bonding with children," he says. "In the past, men were not encouraged to bond with their babies. As a man, I am learning to show love to my children, and it makes me feel fulfilled. Love is better than fear-based respect.”
Joel and Esther’s experience shows what can change when fathers are part of conversations about maternal health. We are grateful to SNF for making this work possible.